DONT BY APARAJITA APRA

Stay on the loop
Don't slouch don't stoop
Turn your thoughts into power
Don't be no wallflower
Curb your urges
When it emerges
With the passion
For the fashion
Don't loose your compassion
Taking in the reaction
Get into action
Don't beg, borrow and steal
Do what you feel
As you viel and unviel
Bet sure you will
Come and stand still
If kindness could kill
Its no run of the mill
Pay your own bill
Be fiesty
Be beasty
Be the sure and the spice
Be the fire and the ice
You got one life, why ever think twice

MUSIC MANIA BY APARAJITA APRA

So I was heading for my classroom post recess. Up here at some distance I heard a little strumming of guitars and an ear deafening speaker sounds playing.  It pulled me back like some spell.  I was unable to move, almost frozen for a second.  I embraced the fluidity of the rhythme, singing on my head
"YEH FITOOR MERA LAYA MUKJHKO HAI TERE KAREEB" OH!  PARVATDIGARA
Suiting perfectly to the mood and feel I had reeled in...

The amiphoria 2020 auditions were going on at my University.  The impact music has on me Startles and  surprises me at the same time.
I am glad to be part of such a culturally and artistically as well talented filled plethora of integrated marvel that I can experience here at my university.

CONFUSED or COMPLICATED ?? By APARAJITA APRA

The other day I had a little chit chat with some young school kids.  There was a spark in their eyes liting up everything around. With a mind juggling over in thousand directions. Coming and going out of the different facets trying to do everything.  Not sure about anything.  Its funny how readily I can connect the dots over. Each time I tell them a story they look so wide eyed and all frenzied.  As if in between some movie marathon. 
Luckily it appeals my inner child more than it does anything else. 
I guess I will remain a kid all my life. 
The more I talk to them the more I get to know about myself.  This could be  the outcome of a complicated mind or just being plain confused. 
Whatever it is its " A FUN RIDE AND I WOULD SQUEEZE every BIT OF IT..  WHILE I'M AT IT". 
Because end of the day, "our destiny knows where we are destined to be ".  And surely it will take us where we are MEANT TO BE... 

TERRITORIAL BY APARAJITA APRA

 I thought it was  symbolic to sex appeal
A lipstick mark on your man is to seal
Your deal thats how they  branded it
As a weapon they granted it
A tool for marking territory with your man
For the possesive lot nothing better you can
And here's how lipstick
Became woman's pick
Wasn't aware how it could make them tick
Not a lara croft or chick flick
The vampire red, plum wine
Be your own damn valentine
Lipstick is no longer territorial 
More than a  woman's closet deal, bobby brown or loreal

LAST CONVERSATION BY APARAJITA APRA

It was back in two months from now. I was busy with my semester exams and there was quite an outbreak regarding the CAA( citizenship ammendment act ) in the place where I was staying. Every internet facilities were stopped.  We were even  finding  it difficult to download notes from mails. Suddenly the world came to a pause.
Since the cold is lot more felt in me . The winters were becoming more and more biting.
Meanwhile every telephonic conversation back to my hometown conveyed the extreme concern they had for me. This is the reason why I feel religion shouldn't be prioritised more than spirituality. There is an element of togetherness in spirituality. "PEOPLE SHOULD BECOME RELIGIOUS FANATICS , IT KILLS THE ESSENCE OF HUMANITY.  My maternal grandmom had called and her voice was quivering . I was feeling something strange . She was worried . She told me to be good and take care . Meanwhile I was a little preoccupied with preparations for exams.  There were fights going across the vicinity of our immediate proximities. Autos being burned down,cars been shut. ATMs non functional .All of this with an exam to cater was way too much.
I couldn't wait to finish off exam and spend the winter holiday with my maternal grandmom as she expressed her desire to spend time with me and the family. I wanted to show her the works which I had done ,the laurels my organization had achieved. The events we did . Take her around to visit my team . Patna was maddening cold and super chilled. After exams were over.  I packed my bag and came home. The journey was a little terrifying . There was an air of suspicion lurking in the corners of every sphere and region of my path. I was literally been carried over through a guardian . The entire bridge was blocked . I could sense the hostility of situation ... My breath was tense till I boarded the train finally relieved when I reached station .
4 days of the visit were almost skyrocketing . People storming in and out of my place. The home became a portable studio, conference room, teaching centre, party club and what not.  On 26th of December . I got the news of something that left me crushed.
My maternal grandmom left for heavenly abode. She was no more. I wish that day when I saw her last WhatsApp call ,I would have answered it. Thinking about the odd timing I decided I would revert back the next day... that never came.
And that was my last conversation . " TUMKO BAHUT BADA AADMI BANTE DEKHNA CHAHTE HAIN ... PHIR BAN JAOGI TO GIFT LENGE , GIFT DOGI NA? She always use to say . I would smile and nod in agreement every time she would talk about it.  PATNA WILL NEVER BE THE SAME WITHOUT HER. I still miss her but I know she is there with me watching me from above the sky. Hoping for her GIFT and making sure I am fortified from all the dangers.
When we use to talk our conversation would last for hours and hours.  ...
I can still feel her presence. Her soul so pure she lived life to the core . Every moment . The coolest and most benevolent person I knew.
"Take care and I will see you in New year". That was my last conversation with her. As fresh as if it were yesterday.

FAIRYLAND BY APARAJITA APRA

I haven't taken a real holiday for a long time. Except the dream that I see with open eyes . I have barely been able to sleep now for a while.
I need an escape , cuz I feel myself wide awake to do something that's not just a namesake . Although life is pretty much like a back pack without knowing where it's going to land. But sometimes it gets way too much and I want to disappear in my fantasy land .

Painstalking by Aparajita apra

I have never really been fully at ease with myself ever. One thing that really freaks me out is the documentations.  Something about the deadlines give me pet peeves.
Not that I am a lazy person actually the opposite would be true. My mind goes into an over drive and I end up feeling overwhelmed. Somebody should try to make the procedure of registrations  a bit more easier. It itself becomes a head breaking process. I was loosing every wink of sleep. I love the idea of education and holding multiple  set of varied degrees in my hand that imparts knowledge .Because I believe "KNOWLEDGE IS POWER AND OUR POWER SHOULD ALWAYS  LIE WITH US". I wish the way through entering this were a little less of a hassle. Anyways in India we have a certain romanticism attached with complications and humungus load of details stacked as a  piled up file. I wonder what prominence do they hold in a practical sense. Another interesting thought cropped inside my head while I was finishing some truly excruciating formalities and documentation process.

Is it mandate to have all the details to the meagre collection of data or will our  presence be enough to gratify our worthiness?  I mean its good to have a data collected and kept in a meticulous fashion. But  arent we creating robots for the very same purpose? Then why do humans have to shelf away such long hours in a task that's so mundane and boring to death?
I remember being extremely  sick almost bed ridden for an entire day when I was assigned the job of feeding  the data in a system as a part of my work as an intern.
Nothing left me so famished and painfully fatigued as this task. I was pukish.  But it certainly taught me one thing for a lifetime
"DATA COLLECTION IS CERTAINLY NOT MY THING , I WOULD BE HAPPIER FLITING FROM ANYTHING TO EVERYTHING ". The idea of staying stuck in any way is truly death penalty for me.  There is nothing more than filling forms and doing registrations that makes me sick and dizzy as hell.
 No wonder a 9 to 5 desk job has been my scariest nightmare. We would have got roots instead of feet if we were meant to stay in  the same place  and do the same work all our life. Which certainly isn't  the case.
" LET TECHNOLOGY BE OUR SLAVES AND NOT OTHER WAY ROUND " because at the end of the day it's " US HUMANS WHO HAVE MADE MACHINES NOT MACHINES THAT HAVE MADE HUMANS".

Trying by Aparajita apra

 Lets burn candles,  not the bridges
As the eyes speak and mouths freezes
Let's take a chance twice
Let's get off from our perceived device
Let's make memories to cut through defence
Let's break the cielings and come clean with feeling through every sense
Push back the revenge game to exit
Let's raise glasses to peace of it does exist
Some things are better to be felt and just left unsaid
Some things work better from heart than head
Some mistakes are worth commiting again
Some pleasures are felt through pain
We may have lost this game
So let's try it once again 

Home by Aparajita apra

I don't understand where my home is
Is it really there or I'm just homeless
I lost the hope of being hopeless
Cuz I don't understand where my home is
I can't relate to the fact,  I'm a bit abstract
I am so attentive but I easily distract
I am sick of this act
That's like an explosive pact
I need a place to call home
Cuz even with a billions  crowd I feel alone
I don't know if I can ever tone
What if I just turn to a stone
I don't understand where I find a home
Or am I just born to run around and roam

Man who sold the world by Aparajita apra

Everytime I tried solving the puzzle of life.
Over and over this beautiful song keeps popping in my head.  Its called -"THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD" by legendary singer, songwriter DAVID BOWIE.
 I thought you died a long long time ago. You're face to face with the  man who sold the world.  I was stunned with the cover made by another legendary rock band of the 27 club,( Kurt Cobain anyone?)
" NIRVANA"....  Sometimes I can picture this song as "We all fighting our inner demons".  The evil which says its our friend. Running away from reality escaping through the ugliness of the world, where in the world of music it all comes back to " DRUGS, SEX AND ROCK N ROLL" thats so handy.
Understanding the mind of a creative artist is like understanding a paradox or better still "PANDORA'S BOX " thats unpredictable, forever in a state of flux(reinventing,  recreating and transitioning)  How can one describe something so fluid, so tactile yet you can  barely touch.
The other stanza of the song says-"WHICH CAME AS A SURPRISE,I SPOKE INTO HIS EYES"
These two lines sounds the truth entering through deceit acting like you know nothing when in reality you can see everything.  But you choose to stay in denial.  You can see these wicked games.
Your real self that has died an actual death way back than you actually realised.

" EVEN IF YOU EARNED EVERYTHING, YOU GAINED NOTHING IF YOU LOST YOURSELF ON THE PROCESS ".  

YES I'M A WOMAN BY APARAJITA APRA

Yes, of course I'm a woman
Treat me like a human
I'm not a weak gender
Born to rear families and be tender
My beauty doesn't restraints my intellect
I can be beautiful, intelligent and  everything I present
My vital statistics shouldn't matter or be that vital
I grind, I hustle, I burn candles for every earned title
Yes I'm a woman but matrimony isn't my destination
I am raised from ashes of phoenix and born with ambition
If I want like a boss I can run errands,
I can top it all
I let my hair loose, fly like there's no tomorrow, I am ready to dive, jump and fall
It isn't about thick, thin, fair, lovely, big or small
It isn't about sexy, pretty, cute, demure, damsel, young, old or tall
It isn't about serial dater or male hater
It isn't about people pleaser or see you later
It is about me,  its about being woman
That's no better or lesser than a man 

I wanna by APARAJITA APRA

I can't be so stuck that I forget to breathe
I can't be so fake that I forget to  ease
I can't be so heartless that  I stop to feel
I can't be so shielded to remain even keel
I can't be so perfect that I become unattainable
I can't be so sugar coated that my enemies find me affable

I just want to be a plain human, not a saint not a devil
I want to feel the thunder, the joy, the fear, the best, the worst, the ecstasy and the peril

Are we religious or are we spiritual? By Aparajita apra

If religion were a person would you still be as blinded by the dogmas it projects  as you now?  

The way its been depicted to people.  Instead of a choice or willingness it becomes a boundation intervined through a compulsion that isn't really fruitful.  No religion can be forced over.  Today we had a very distinctive assignment which gave us the task of creating our own religion.  Suddenly I thought isn't freeing your soul  the best religious thing to do?  

I mean if you are rooted to the idea of religion as a stringent dogmatic follower.  You are already binding your soul to something you dont even know.  

If religion were being spiritual, it would have been an alignment of mind, body and soul.  

Is it important for a religion to have a god?  Arent we told its the universe that speaks the language of KARMA... 

DOES RELIGION MEANS BEING BOXED INTO BELIEFS THAT INTERFERES YOUR OWN FREEDOM?   

I think I am still unclear about the whole idea of religion.  I will say I am spiritual but religious??? ...  Guess it will have to wait.  There are shamanic healers all around the world doing things beyond the scope of human  limitations.  Are they  spiritual or religious???   

Are they dogmatic or free spirited soul?  

 Long  back hippie culture created a  wave.  The idea was not to create a lifestyle it was to freeing your spirit And let everyone be free to practice the life they want.  

Aren't we all born free.  Its better to be spiritual than religious....